Pandemic/Parenthood Interview: Gaitrie Subryan
It’s no secret that the pandemic has taken its toll on mothers, as for many of us our lives have shifted in new ways to make room for caring/teaching/coping with our children at home all the time. I’m sharing some interviews with business owners (who are also moms) I’ve photographed to inspire, uplift anyone who might need it, and validate the struggle it can be to wear so many hats.
“Surrounding myself with people that understand me as a mom and artist is also helpful because they remind me that this is not permanent. And the lessons I am learning here will meet me on the stage.”
Gaitrie, photographed for CreativeMornings/Buffalo
Meet Gaitrie Subryan, a choreographer and Bollywood performance artist. She teaches dance and yoga to adults and youth. Inspired during the lockdown in October of 2020 she started her own podcast: Beyond the Studio. Artists from all disciplines share their stories to influence, teach and inspire audiences.
How old are your kids and what they’ve been up to during the pandemic?
My kids are the apple of my eye, and the reason why I’m motivated. Shiv is five, and I am bracing for his character to come through! My twins, Karishma and Divya are 2 years and 6 months. It is quite the adventure here.
Shiv was in PreK and went virtual. I built a schedule for him and created a nice space in our home. In September we thought things might get better... but they didn’t. So we didn't send him back to school and we decided to homeschool all 3 kids. We’ve been doing online activities like yoga and dance classes. And all together we are learning Sign Language and Spanish. Plus, spending time outdoors and doing things like pizza night on Fridays have made things more fun.
In the beginning of the lockdown I thought I would hit the ground running and teach classes online but NO. I hit the ground. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted. I couldn’t get in front of the camera to teach. There were so many issues to sort out. I need to process and I put a lot of pressure on myself. In the beginning I felt exhausted. My creativity was dampened. When I took a step back to assess it all, I realized through my meditation that I need to take a step back from being a teacher and think about being a student to let my mind grow. I was able to have that spark be ignited again.
What does that transition look like right now? I am teaching yoga to young audiences: those are online. But in my own dance, I am still not creating choreography. That has been very difficult. I am goal oriented when preparing for a festival or a performance and this isn’t happening.
I’ve experienced months of depression. Both of my parents had Covid, and all our parents are in NYC. This roadblock in choreography, the whole world at a standstill, the household shift, so much readjusting has made this not an easy time. I remind myself that this is not permanent. We will come out of this.
What do you do to fill your cup/keep yourself sane?
Gaitrie, photographed for CreativeMornings/Buffalo
I am a morning person. I love getting up before the sun. I wake up at 5:30 and I take 2 hours to journal, meditate, draw or stare at the flame of a candle. The main thing is that I honor that time for myself. When my kids wake up, that “me time” takes a back seat. Now my body automatically gets up and I go to my studio.
Surrounding myself with people that understand me as a mom and artist is also helpful because they remind me that this is not permanent. And the lessons I am learning here will meet me on the stage.
How has your creative community changed over the past year?
I’ve been building direct connections for my podcast, Beyond the Studio, and it’s not just dancers. Artists share their stories and it grows the creative community I have. They make a connection with my audience, and this reminds them that their journey matters.
What is a habit you have to fight against?
Trying to control everything. The pandemic was a lesson I needed. I am very stubborn. I cannot control everything. It’s impossible! The only thing I can control is how I react to things. It took 38 years for me to get there and I still have trouble sometimes!
What is something you need right now that people reading this might be able to help with?
This question is the hardest one. I want some tips to balance working with kids. I do everything after they go to bed. And this time is not the most productive. I have to coach myself through editing a podcast or working on my choreography. What shifts do I need to make to be more efficient?
Gaitrie Subryan with Maya Satterwhite and Naila Ansari for Creative Mornings/Buffalo. Watch their talk here.