Pandemic/Parenthood Interview: Stella Orange
It’s no secret that the pandemic has taken its toll on mothers, as for many of us our lives have shifted in new ways to make room for caring/teaching/coping with our children at home all the time. I’m sharing some interviews with business owners (who are also moms) I’ve photographed to inspire, uplift anyone who might need it, and validate the struggle it can be to wear so many hats.
“My creative practice these days isn’t about making work, either commercially or artistically. It’s about being present inside my own skin, inside my own life. I trust that as I do that, I will be who I need to be and move where I need to move.”
Stella in the Japanese Gardens, Buffalo, N.Y.
Meet Stella Orange, a copywriter who runs a marketing and business advising shop called Las Peregrinas with two other women.
What are the ages of your kids and what have they been up to during the pandemic?
I had twins at the beginning of the pandemic, April 2020. They’re now almost 10 months. I took 4 months maternity leave.
How did your practice change throughout the duration of the pandemic?
I was eight months pregnant with twins when the pandemic hit. I had been mentally preparing myself to let go of life as I knew it. Then, I realized that I had to let go of EVEN MORE - so that I could make it through psychologically. I had a planned C-section for April that required me to go to a place where all the sick people who had a mysterious virus were gathering. My practice was about
tapping into what I know about storytelling and showing up in uncharted territory in order to be brave. Keep my head screwed on straight. Make sure my self and my new little family made it in and out of there alive and healthy.
Then the uprisings came. You could hear helicopters in the sky over our house. I woke up one night in the middle of the night to what I thought was gunshots. It was hail (hello, snapshot into my psyche!). I was sleep deprived, sleeping 5 hours a night (thanks to my husband, who took the overnight shift). We talked about taking a double stroller to the protests. In a pandemic. But it was just too much. I ended up asking myself, “What CAN I do to be a contribution to Black Lives?” This, too, is part of my practice of writing. My practice of business. I ended up making chocolate chip cookies, and drove them down to the encampment. Rather ridiculous, I know, but that’s what was available to me at the time.
My creative practice these days isn’t about making work, either commercially or artistically. It’s about being present inside my own skin, inside my own life. I trust that as I do that, I will be who I need to be and move where I need to move. I’ve been following that idea for awhile now, but the last year has really amplified that for me. I am working towards a time in my life where I make work artistically again. But I am clear that this is not that time. Right now, my creativity is all about my #hausfraulifestyle, and being generative and meaningful as a human being, community member, and business owner.
Stella in the Japanese Gardens, Buffalo, N.Y.
What do you do to fill your cup/keep yourself sane in the moments when you are not caring for others and working?
Sleep. Sit in hot water. Cook. Sit. Stretch. Feel. Write in my journal. Practice benevolent mischief. Notice who takes more than they give and avoid them like the plague (too soon?). I am also becoming a gardening nerd, because I am a sucker for a quality metaphor.
How has your creative community changed over the past year?
I had a women’s group that I had convened because I wanted “in person” friends. The combo of having babies, global pandemic, and winter effectively killed that group. Maybe it comes back, maybe it doesn’t. What’s interesting is that it has morphed and evolved - I am still connected with most of the people, just in more individual and private ways.
What is a habit you have to fight against?
I don’t really think in terms of adversarial relationships. For some reason, and I get that this is weird, I accept my habits as integral to my practice and creative life. I believe that even the stuff we don’t especially like about ourselves serves some purpose, so that’s where I look first. What itch am I trying to scratch with the habit of, say, being a grown ass woman who doesn’t shower that much? Can I expand my self-concept to say YES to being someone like that? What happens when I accept something like that?
What is something you need right now that people reading this might be able to help with?
I just started a list suggested to me by my friend Belinda Pruyne, who’s an executive leadership coach, that I’m calling the Portal 18. It’s 18 people I know or would like to know, who I want to engage and nourish my relationships with, in ways tiny and big. My hypothesis is that if I focus on these 18 people, just as part of my weekly work, that I will open doors for them and they will open doors for me. So: who else do y’all know that I would want to be friends with? I’m not attached to capping my list at 18. I think of it as a living, changing thing. But I do want and need to know people who have a fire in their bellies who practice deep relationship. And who are fun at parties. {wink}
Stella in the Japanese Gardens, Buffalo, N.Y.