It’s no secret that the pandemic has taken its toll on mothers, as for many of us our lives have shifted in new ways to make room for caring/teaching/coping with our children at home all the time. I’m sharing some interviews with other professional women I’ve photographed to inspire, uplift anyone who might need it, and validate the struggle it can be to wear so many hats.

“Don’t spend much time on social media. Remember that everyone is going through a huge shift in life and they ultimately have to work that out for themselves, and so do you. ”

— Alyssa Capri

Meet Alyssa Capri, a working artist based in Buffalo, N.Y. Her recent work has focused on painting and murals. She has shown her work in several galleries and is published internationally. Alyssa has painted and assisted on multiple murals in the city of Buffalo.

Your name, what you do, ages of your kids and what you’ve been up to during the pandemic, since March 2020.

My name is Alyssa Capri, my children are 10 (Mirah) and 7 (Hazel). We live in the city of Buffalo, so my kids have been remote learning since March 2020. My youngest just started the “phased in” model where she goes to school 2 days a week in February, however, my older daughter is still completely at home. I was laid off from work at my day job (I work in landscaping) until the summer months of 2020. The first few months, I spent a lot of time with the kids at home, working awkwardly to homeschool before the district got it together and started doing remote learning. In September of 2020, I started going to school full time (online) and I have been maintaining that still. I have been working full time, schooling full time, and parenting with two remote grade-schoolers.

How has your life/practice/work changed?

It feels like everyday is a constant juggle. I’m continuously managing our schedules. It has been difficult to keep the kids occupied and happy. Their dad and I share custody of them, and we have become almost their only social outlet at this point. So, trying to meet everyone’s needs means that mine usually get pushed aside. Some days are really hard for me. I’ve had to put my emotional & social needs on pause for over a year. I do think we have a pretty good routine going now and most of the frustration and discomfort from the initial adjustment has waned.

Looking back on the past year, can you share some silver linings of the pandemic and some challenging moments you overcame?

I’ve enjoyed getting to spend more time with my kids, despite the challenges. I think that we’ve gotten to know each other in new and different ways. The kids have really improved their communication skills with each other. They have learned new responsibilities and skills. We have reassessed our values, and learned a lot of new things. We got to spend a lot of time outdoors and were able to go camping, last summer, and that was really special.

The first few months were the hardest adjustment with the kids. There were meltdowns almost everyday about the restrictions and homeschooling. The kids really grieved the loss of their social and recreational time. It was very difficult to work through that while struggling with my own emotions. The summer of 2020 was incredibly difficult for Americans, culturally and politically. Navigating that on top of a pandemic, there was a lot of mourning.

How has your community changed over the past year?

My community has changed in that it has aligned more with what is of value to me. A lot of superficial relationships drifted away. I have set more healthy boundaries with friends and said goodbye to people who did not bring positivity to our relationship. So, it has shifted, it feels more reliable and safer now.

What do you do to fill your cup/keep yourself sane?

My cup hasn’t felt full in a long time, but I try to plan things to look forward to. I have gotten a lot better at stating my needs. Making sure I keep my grades up and a paycheck coming in has been important for me. I guess that translates to keeping routine and stability in my life, where possible.

If you could go back to last March, what would your present-day self offer as advice?

Don’t spend much time on social media. Remember that everyone is going through a huge shift in life and they ultimately have to work that out for themselves, and so do you.

Pandemic/Parenthood Interview: Alyssa Capri

Meet Alyssa Capri, a working artist based in Buffalo, N.Y. Her recent work has focused on painting and murals. She has shown her work in several galleries and is published internationally. Alyssa has painted and assisted on multiple murals in the city of Buffalo.

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